Chapter VI: King Kombucha

Keywords: tripping, trekking, expedition, bacteria, fungi, agencies, exotica, anxieties, homeopathy, leisure, darkness, fomo, choices

The multidisciplinary work is a fictional tale about alternative possible future where animation is the only medium to grab the attention of the hyper sensitive and hyper active. Swarm of incapability to concentrate has spread honey combs for newly wedded anxieties overwhelming structural compositions describing the current proletarian lifehackstyle explaining somewhat hopeless situation where only few selected by all-mighty-natural-forces are capable to execute mass extinction witted operations succeeding to liminalise obliterating lacquer over the plastic eye, which temporarily is used to forecast future ignoring over constructive lateral thinking that postpones apparent dysfunctioning minor league issues with impure multifaceted realities relying somewhat out of habit to chance operations like yesterdays postman, who established one of the game changer methods to navigate in the jungle of desires that some of the few survived social scientist still mumble and recall as concrete jungle, also known as the true dungeon of lost souls, who whimper around the house of selection.

The work is part of SubGeneral Currywurtzway Methods Incorporate & Three Steps to Natural Impoverishment Without Serious Injuries Fund, and Self-Employed Bankers on Leisure Trust Collection. The method tries to provoke less economical success for its believers. This leach will stick to the object, penetrate the object, infiltrate the object, and benefit from the object. It will recalibrate the moral compass of the object.

Financial Times 28.9.2019


No, they are back. After thousands of years of traveling, several injuries, dozen hospital visits, handful of surgical operations, couple of blisters, few brain scans, somewhat unknown amount of public opinion and gossip, Bad Research announces that they are ready to produce yet another incoherent spectacle in honour to celebrate deported situationist guys. According to sources, the duo stopped applying endeavours and started enjoying the international fame and wealth after Belgian chapter.


"Bad Researchers are superstars of science! They have shown to the whole scientific and economic world that art has great value for society especially when boosting the economical growth. Out of the box thinking, corruptive data handling, irresponsibility to the sources are becoming new foundations for future societies and political decision making.", Frontal Pieromonti, the head of European Consulate, describes in channel 10 interview the relationship with Bad Research.

"Actually or normally, we should utilise this biological approach when we are on a lunch break in Wall Street. Instead of speaking about uppers and downers, highs and lows, we should invent completely new language. When stocks starts to speak in voices, we could say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLAAAALALAAAAA, and as we find that the price of wheat can be artificially altered we can just SIMIT.", summarises Leonardo DaVinci while painting the pedestrian crossings in suburbian Milano.

One side of the duo answered the phone: "Yes, I took all the money from Belgium and decided to have good time. I was selling my potential frenetically and had enough being a profician. My colleague's extensive opportunism and moral corrosion made me to dream about having my own private island, where I don't have to deal with this nonsense. While worriless and free, I was taking care of the international flow of money. I had mailboxes. MAILBOXES! Some decent corporations all over the Europe especially from Fishrael, would send me their taxes, and would pay them for the global welfare. The more I started taking care of the mailboxes, the more taxes I started to pay, and more I could finance the creative hub. In a way I kind of invented and was the first prominent experimentalist with basic income."

"We are going to make an animation film. It is an advertisement for a company of a friend. A really nice guy. He pays well. He has a traveling agency called King Combucha. He has import export business too. Usually advertisement is short and dynamic, straight to the point, aiming for maximum effect. BOOM! CHAM! LAM! YOU GOT IT! YOU WANT IT! CHING! NO! This time we make it long and teasing. We endure the time and the experience like having a special romantic affair. While on the ride time slips away and it speeds up. You are hooked for the lifetime. Some call it marriage, we call it a healthy business deal. We use reverse psychology. We tell how bad the experience is, and soon everyone gets curious. You know there is phenomenon with parents and kids, this this, when parent tells a kid that you know these pills are only for mom to cure her pain and you should not take them. Of course the kid takes them the next day, and haves a great blast on morphine. We have studied some ancient manuscripts and we follow the divide and rule and shock doctrine in our practices. The great filmmaker Einstein said that everything is relative, so in this case we want to relate even more and show that traveling is both horrible and antihorrible, depending of course the internal climate of the Fungus that decides to knock the doors of perception."

"We need more research, more and more. For too long we were worrying about the quality of the content, but Bad Researcher shows us that true spirit lies in the quantity. Quality is difficult to measure; it is too relative based on jurors individual judgement, but with quantity we can rely in raw numbers! Released research journal every week, month and each single day keeps the cashflow positive and our institution can continue sheltering our ever increasing management personnel. These people don't do research, but they celebrate the success of the institution. They represent the public image and formulate strategies to deconstruct current workflow with state of art game changer tactics. Each typed character matters and longer the text the better. No one anyways reads the full text, because everyone is learning this text scanning technique, where reader skims through the text with one's eyes only to stop and select the essential for the predetermined purpose. We are seriously thinking to hire some artificial intelligence to produce future scientific papers. We have 10 selected core ideas that we could present with Powerpoint presentation, but with the help of AI we are able to loom whole ocean of text to support the conceptual opinions. Basically we are turning the whole academic research upside down! First we have an argument and then we invent the theory around it.", Emperor of School of Schools after the mindfulness session with Bad Research.

"Speculative politics! Speculative politics! I am telling you these guys invented it. There is a whole movement of followers. They look into the future, as we are stuck with realism. In their seminars they revealed that there is only two modes of thinking instead of three — pessimistic and optimistic — finally somebody simplified it, and you know what, they are both based on realism, but with a different twist concerning the state of affairs and events and the future. SPECULATIVE POLITICS! Man I want to celebrate this.", Bill Clinton 

"No more comedy, no more humour, none of that. We aim for serious.", An Dallon concerning the future strategies.

An Dallon few moments before his life changing downfall.

Agency Plans Revealed

"I heard somewhere that with careful interior design we can create whole embodied experience for the future possible client. We have to impress. We have to seduce. Consider each client as a new lover. Show the best version of yourself each time. We need followers. We need to be the influencer. Decorate yourself and your palace to to be sensual experience, something that the visitor will never forget. We have to generate the feeling that they must return, and they can't live without us. Their whole life depend on our imperfect perfection. We show that all depends on the way we look at affairs. Each detail must be carefully selected. Taste and judgement. Power and manipulation. Mind control. Can you provide that?"  - From internal memo to an interior designer

"Ideally, we are located in neurotic system, inside a stomach or any other fictional place that somehow has correspondence with day to day activities. King Combucha."